When I was a newly graduated Registered Nurse, we had a one-liner to explain learning. Most RNs still know this one, and would likely reassure you that it is alive and well in hospitals, clinics, and, well, really any healthcare facility. Don’t let this scare you, but it’s true, it works and we are going to get ready to apply it…
When learning, you will see one (see the task one time), do one (do the task one time), teach one (get ready to teach the task to a “one” as you are now the one who knows how to do it). You will never look at a healthcare worker at your bedside the same way, again. Just think of the possibilities here… the person getting ready to do your IV may be on the “do one” step of the process.
Okay, I am slightly in jest here, but it is to make a point about our realities. If this some what imprecise process of learning, as in, if learning while doing is sufficient for competency to employ those who care for people in need (among other methods of evaluation), why is prayer any different? Yet, as soon as our kids are involved we sense a company of doubts with us, and pass the authority of these prayer moments to our priest, pastor, sister, friend, more experienced "mom of multiple kids," or our own mothers. These people can be very helpful, but they can also distract from that small inner voice. I am here to expose those doubts as lies that are in your way of being a pray-er with kids.
Will your kids get wiggly? Yes! I have a tool for that problem.
Will your kids come to the Contemplative or Centering prayer on a daily basis with a different experience each day? YES! I have a tool for that experience as well!
Will you learn new things about yourself and your kids? YES! I HAVE IDEAS!
Here is the post on Contemplative or Centering Prayer. Please, adapt the language for your family, however. Sometimes, reading a verse and encouraging kids to find a word from that verse to echo (once you get to that part of the prayer) is quite inspirational to the Holy Ghost to haunt an inner heart.
Here's an example- we started with the following (original) cues for Centering Prayer:
Finding the Present-
Deep Breath in for 1, 2, 3/ Deep breath out 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Fix into a settled position you can stay in without moving for 3-5 minutes
Settle the eyes on a spot with a soft gaze or close your eyes
Feel something touching you on your body (hands in lap, hair on your neck, etc.)
listen to an ambient sound of something in your home, outside in nature or gray noise from a speaker.
Then, I read Psalm 29 to the kids and worked on helping them re-orient to the Present by re-stating the steps as needed. Then, I offer an invitation into the prayer by saying...
"Now, hear the sound replaced by a word from the Psalm or any sacred word you hear repated over and over."
And, that is really the key to the Centering Prayer with kids. Mainly, you circle back as needed to the invitation into the Present if you feel the kids wiggling away from the inner life, and that WILL happen. I use a short timer of 1-2 minutes in the beginning, but slowly lengthen it as the weeks of practicing Centering Prayer with kids are accumulated. So, I might say,
"Go back to the feeling of stillness in your eyes, and the touch of something. Go back to hearing one sound."
Go back and have a reminder on the “see one” step as needed. Below, are the tools for the “do one” step with your kids.
Will your kids get wiggly?
pick a time for centering prayer when they are naturally lowered in energy either right after lunch, dinner or a bath. Prior to nap is also a fine time to do this and it’s okay to feel like it is a win if your kiddo falls asleep. All is well.
DO something active prior to the steps of the previous post-
Push-up game to see who can go the longest or a plank game to see who can hold the longest. What does your crew like to do?
Dance to music, but set a timer and prepare them for how long the wiggly part of this time together will occur.
DON’T take anything too seriously!
Will your kids come to Contemplative or Centering prayer on a daily basis with different experiences?
Journal those experiences and look for patterns later!
Don’t judge the prayer of your kid
DO remember to expect the prayer part of the experience to start at the length of time that is their age and slowly increase the time by 30 seconds to 1 minute every other week. This is, indeed, a slow growth rate, but pays off over time. The boat of your kiddo’s attention tossed on the sea of tumult will begin to have that inner rudder you long for him or her to experience.
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