Pray-er with "God sent me a Dove."

As the title implies, I was indeed met with this statement from one of my kids. It is dove season where I live and one of my kids very excitedly revealed not only a deceased dove, but the reason for its ended life!

"God sent me a dove. I prayed for a dove and when I came out of the door it flew into the tree and sat there singing. " So, this child, already armed with a weapon from a morning of failed hunting, was able to receive the "gift" after dispatching it with one shot...to the heart.

A "not Dove" drawing

I know how this sounds, believe me. I did not believe this kid! I had so many reactions. My mind offered up resistance such as:

-That's not how it went down.

-You have been out in the field all morning "hunting."

-I can't believe this! Wow! That's an amazing gift of prayer!

A Fearsome Hunter

However, I can honestly say, I settled into a much more selfish conclusion. How could God offer such a direct gift to a kid? Now this kid will think that one prays, one receives, and when that formula for prosperity does not work out... well, what then? Disappointment! What was God thinking?

Indeed, my Pray-er's heart offered this (rancid) incense up as a final response internally to the external glee of this kid!

It took a solid morning after dressing and harvesting of this mourning dove, for me to articulate this concern, a very legitimate concern, regarding prayer and outcome. Somehow, by then, I had dog-paddled my way out of drowning in the absolute conclusion God was not clear with my kid and I needed to straighten the kid out on prayer consequences. Most of the time, it is not immediate, but how do I explain all that to a very joyful kid?!

We were going out the door on an outing and this kid starts bubbling over with cooking the dove that was waiting in the refrigerator for our return. I finally just let it rip!

"You know I am just having so many feelings around this, and I can't decide which one to bring up first. "

There was a heavy silence and I had, indeed, popped the bubble of excitement. Whoops! But, my scrupulous self felt vindicated.

Sometimes I think I am open, but reaching with a closed hand.

"Why?"

"Because, that's not how prayer works! You don't just pray and then get your way!" I heard my tempo, dynamic level, and pitch elevate harshly. However, the next moment, the bubble was back fully formed and much bigger!

This child actually began laughing a gigantic belly laugh at me, and I could not figure out what was so funny in all the angst I had brought up... that was hard to be so honest and so right! Right?

"Oh, Mama, I know that's not how it works. I have been praying for a year for that dove. I said the prayer, again, before I walked outside and, then, it happened."

This gigantic moment of tumult in my inner heart felt like a popped bubble and what was left were the echoes of my child's giggle at the whole situation.

He keeps telling me, and someday I hope to “get it.”

So, my friends, here is the walking, living example of why I need these little and not-so little sacramentals in my life. My inner life very quickly landed on a conclusion that God was wrong, and I needed to protect this kid… from God. My Pray-er’s heart moved so quickly, my will did not catch the movement. In the meantime, He was busy about my kid’s internal life, TRULY teaching this kid about prayer endurance to become a Pray-er. I had a flash of all the disappointed looks this child's face carried when hunt after hunt last season the results were only hands still empty.

We had a good laugh, together, over the whole of my experience; now, we both have a beautiful memory that is a signpost on our journey to Jesus' Tree of Life. I am always invited to acknowledge the ever-deepening ways God is working in my heart and that of my kids.